Uncle Crappy

18 comments

1. Permalink # the sister said

   I apparently have too much compassion and could only take on 15.

   But what about a minivan full of 5 elementary school boys and one 2 year old girl on a 1/2 trip to and from school every day? Any takers?

2. Permalink # Uncle Crappy said

   Yeesh. No way. I can barely handle taking the cat to the vet.

3. Permalink # kewyson said

   I came in at 22, although through proper scouting they’d find out I’m probably a 0.5 – 1 type of 5-year old fighter – please don’t let my girls know.

4. Permalink # Uncle Crappy said

   Don’t ever cross The Wife — especially if you’re five. She got a 26.

   E: She said she’d be willing to take out any child that coughs or sneezes in her face. Does that count?

5. Permalink # cynthiacloskey said

   I could take 19. I figure that’s not too bad, although clearly in this crowd it’s below par.

   They didn’t ask about zombie children though. I think I could fight harder against them. Especially if they move more slowly than live children.

6. Permalink # Uncle Crappy said

   Ooo, good point about the zombies. I’m sure they would move more slowly, but do you have to kill them instead of just knocking them out?

   Or is that a dumb question, considering that they’re already dead?

7. Permalink # cynthiacloskey said

   I figure if you could get a nice weapon, like a baseball bat, you could just go around swinging. The kids’ little heads would be at about the right height too.

   I’m basing this on “Shaun of the Dead,” which is my go-to resource for all zombie information.

   The thing I never understood about zombies is why they don’t eat each other. I mean, they’re standing right next to each other, and clearly they are not deep thinkers.

8. Permalink # Uncle Crappy said

   The site specifies no weapons, but if we’re talking about zombie 5-year-olds, I’d say a bat would be appropriate.

   As far as zombies eating themselves … Hm. Would movies about cannibal zombies be as scary?

9. Permalink # kewyson said

   Cannibal 5-year olds are no problem – they only eat peanut butter sandwiches and yogurt -

10. Permalink # Rachel said

    I’m beginning to think that I’m a 12 year old girl.

    Why is it that I can only take 14?! Jeeze.

11. Permalink # karmapig said

    25, but most of them have some sort of disability.

12. Permalink # HP said

    I can take 18.

    Karma Pig, how many fights have you been in? You Uncle Crappy? How about the wife? I’m pretty sure she can totally kick my ass!

13. Permalink # Uncle Crappy said

    Rachel: You keep chucking those 17-pound Sunday newspapers, and you’ll be up in the twenties in no time.

    kp: That’s kind of your specialty, right?

    HP: Besides several of the grade-school variety, only one. I’ve been close a few other times, but I try not to. They hurt, even if you win.

    Five-year-olds, however…

14. Permalink # Large said

    This is another perfect example of “The Law of Gross Tonnage” in action…32!

15. Permalink # ethel said

    It says I can take on 14. I’m dubious. I have been in a couple of fights, but they didn’t involve fists – just shoes. My brother, sister and I would have big shoe-throwing fights with some frequency when Mom was away (often). They mostly resulted in property damage rather than injuries (including my brother’s braces).

16. Permalink # dirtmerchant said

    31…take no prisoners. I think I got docked for being short…but, I really think that would be an asset for clean head shots while maintaining a good low center of gravity. Merry Christmas all…..

17. Permalink # Kewyson said

    I think Dirtmerchant is benefitting from high altitude training while surrounded by meth freaks tweaking away in the forests.

18. Permalink # Kewyson said

    I think DirtMerchant is benefitting from high altitude training while being surrounded by meth freaks tweaking away in the forest.