Uncle Crappy

WHEREAS, Mrs. Crappy, the wife of the proprietor of this blog, has had a kind of miserable week; and

WHEREAS, Mrs. Crappy was forced to endure the destruction of her family homestead by fire on Sunday night; and

WHEREAS, Mrs. Crappy was screwed out of attending a concert by Dark Star Orchestra on Tuesday because she was asked to cover a school board meeting in the place of a reporter who was covering a police standoff in Zelienople instead; and

WHEREAS, Said school board meeting was unproductive and didn’t actually require the presence of Mrs. Crappy; and

WHEREAS, There has been at least one other instance of Mrs. Crappy’s Work getting in the way of Mrs. Crappy’s Fun; and

WHEREAS, We’re going to try to do something nice for Mrs. Crappy to offset the torture and agony of this week; and

WHEREAS, I’m thinking we’re going to need more than a single day to offset said torture and agony; and

WHEREAS, So let’s set it up so we have an entire Mrs. Crappy Weekend; and

WHEREAS, I’m thinking we should just go ahead and start this right now; and

WHEREAS, If you see Mrs. Crappy this weekend, you should be extra nice to her and offer to give her a backrub or buy her a beer or something; and

WHEREAS, If you have suggestions about perhaps meeting her somewhere I’d be happy to make some arrangements; and

WHEREAS, If, alternately, you don’t think you’ll run into Mrs. Crappy over the weekend, you could always leave a nice, uplifting comment at the end of this post;

NOW, THEREFORE, BE IT RESOLVED, that Friday, February 27; Saturday, February 28; and Sunday, March 1, 2009, shall be declared “Mrs. Crappy Weekend” in the City of Pittsburgh, the County of Allegheny and Any Other Surrounding Environs Mrs. Crappy Deems Fit To Include;

BE IT FURTHER RESOLVED, that anyone who should happen to encounter Mrs. Crappy during “Mrs. Crappy Weekend” in the City of Pittsburgh, the County of Allegheny and Any Other Surrounding Environs Mrs. Crappy Deems Fit To Include is hereby encouraged to generally be nice to her and stuff so that she may be aided in the effort to put this horrible week behind her.

IT IS HEREBY PRONOUNCED, on Friday, February 27, 2009, by Uncle Crappy. Amen.