Let’s take a moment and consider what would have happened at the end of the Sixth Annual Uncle Crappy NCAA Final Four Challenge (Brought to you by Bocktown) if I had followed through with my original intention for the tiebreaker numbers.

I initially thought we’d use The Price Is Right rule: Closest without going over. I actually had typed that when I wrote out this year’s original AUCNFFC post — and for some reason, reconsidered.

And after seeing the 53-41 final score in last night’s game, I realized how completely screwed I would have been with The Price Is Right rule in effect.

As it turned out, Tim not only picked the correct champion — one of just two to do so — but he also envisioned a fairly conservative title game; his predicted final score was 57-53. Enophiledude, who claims he knows nothing about college basketball, also picked UConn as the champ, but he went with a more reasonable final score prediction: 85-79.

Those of us who watched the game without any rooting interests probably would have better appreciated Enophiledude’s score, but this was the year for ugly basketball, and that’s what Tim had predicted.

Tim? The Bocktown gift card is yours, and I’m told it’ll be ready for you at the bar within a day or two. Congratulations.

Thanks to Tim, Enophiledude and everyone else who entered this year’s AUCNFFC; you guys once again made this a fun way to watch what turned out to be a supremely frustrating tournament.

And special thanks goes to Chris at Bocktown, whose prize donation seemed to bring a lot of eager contestants here again this year. I’d tell you how wonderful the food, beer and service is at Bocktown but most of you know that already. Thanks, Chris.

By virtue of picking UConn to make the title game, Large, Yay Toast, Tim and Enophiledude each have a total of six points after today’s semi-final games, which sent Butler and the Huskies to Monday’s championship game.

But Enophiledude and Tim both picked UConn to win the title, which makes things a little interesting. If UConn wins, they will tie with 12 points, and we’ll use their tiebreakers to see who wins the Bocktown gift card.

And if Butler wins on Monday, the four aforementioned contestants will tie, and I’ll HAVE TO DO MATH to figure out who the winner is. So because the game is over fairly late Monday night, I should have the results ready by next weekend.

I’m kidding. It won’t take me more than an hour or two.

I just went through the entries for the Sixth Annual Uncle Crappy NCAA Final Four Challenge (Brought to you by Bocktown).

I am stunned.

I am stunned by not only my own spectacular crash-and-burn performance in my own freaking contest, but by the overwhelming number of people who have joined me.

As you know by now the Final Four is set: Kentucky, UConn, Butler and Virginia Freaking Commonwealth.

Did anyone pick that combo? Hahahahahahaha no.

Did anyone come close? That’s an even funnier question. And here’s the answer: None of the SAUCNFFC contestants had more than one correct Final Four pick, and there weren’t many who managed that.

The following folks have two points:

Goon Squad Sarah, KimLy, Large, The Jim, Derrick, Yay Toast, Tim, Woody, Enophiledude, the Bitchdesk and *gasp* Juan (more about him later).

But of that illustrious group, only a handful — Large, Yay Toast, Tim and Enophiledude — can earn further points. And of that group, Tim and Enophiledude are in the best shape; they both picked UConn to win it all. The others can each pick up another four points at best because while they have UConn in the final game they have another, already-eliminated team winning the title.

Two entries of note: Derrick was the only contestant to correctly place Butler in the Final Four; next year, I’m picking them to make it, even if they’re in Ohio State’s region. And never before in the long and storied history of AUCNFFC has Juan mustered a single point, but this year the penny was good to him; Virginia Commonwealth bumped him out of the bottom-dwellers for the first time.

And as for the rest of us…

Those who have participated in AUCNFFCs past already know of the Blutarsky title, reserved for those whose picks sent them sinking like a rock in the AUCNFFC standings. Their picks were so bad that have bestowed upon them a title that perfectly illustrates the depth of their futility.

Say it with me, Dean Wormer: Zero. Point. Zero.

• Of the 38 SAUCNFFC participants, just 14 of us still have our eventual champion still playing. Ouch.
• We’ll go through everyone’s point totals on Sunday, but I would point out that 12 of us correctly picked UConn to make it to the Final Four and just one of us thought Butler would return this year. You each get two points for that pick.
• If Kansas doesn’t make the Final Four on Sunday, a whole bunch of you are screwed.
• The number of people who could possibly win this is larger than I might have thought; because of the scorched-earth upsets, it’s not inconceivable that someone could win this with just a couple of correct picks.
• That means some of the people whom I might have written off previously could not only be in line for a few points but could also be contenders.
• It also means that the tie-breakers — your best guess as to the final score of the championship game — will likely be very important when I’m trying to figure out who won this thing. I STILL NEED TIE-BREAKERS FROM THESE PEOPLE: AAA, KimLy, Fred and my mom. I’m not going to be a huge stickler here guys, but before the Final Four games next weekend, OK?
• It is customary that I pick on the participants who might not have performed well as we get into the meat of AUCNFFC, and I started to do so last week. As pointed out previously, just about all of those folks could actually eke out a couple points in this thing. You know who will get exactly zero points in SAUCNFFC, because every one of his teams has already been eliminated? Yes. That would be me.
• Thank you all for playing. If you need me, I’ll be twitching over in the corner over there, patiently waiting for the start of baseball season.

I am not alone in my bracket-related frustration, though. An informal count this morning reveals that something like 20 of us have lost our pick for the championship. Carnage, doom, disaster, etc.

But as is typically the case when this kind of thing happens, the wreckage can open some doors for people who might have thought they were out of the running before. Kansas picks are looking particularly good right now, and I think we have a handful of people who still have their championship games intact.

We start awarding points with today’s games, as team reach the Final Four; I’ll try to do a post outlining our progress tonight and I’ll definitely have one ready after the Sunday games.

Good luck, y’all. If the tournament thus far has demonstrated anything, it’s that you’re going to need it.

There won’t be any easy ones for the rest of the trip.

Let’s start there. Next year, when I start writing about college basketball, I need someone to remind me that I am not to pick Pitt to win a single game in the NCAA tournament ever. Ever. I don’t care if they playing the Washington Generals. Never, ever again.

I can take some solace in the fact that the vast majority of participants in the Sixth Annual Uncle Crappy NCAA Final Four Challenge (Brought to you by Bocktown) also had Pitt involved in their picks in one form or another, so most of us are kind of in the same boat as far as that goes.

We’re still a week away from the point where we start earning SAUCNFFC points for our picks, but as per our custom, let’s take a look and get a sense of how everyone’s doing. And clearly, some of us are doing better than the others.

In great shape (all picks still playing):

• Mrs. Crappy
• Andy
• Doogle
• Curl Girl Michelle
• Yay Toast
• Tim
• Kewyson
• Woody’s World

In slightly-less-but-still-great shape (lost one team but still has title game and champ playing):

• Jaci
• KimLy
• Carla
• Senor Jaime
• Fred
• The Jim
• Ethel
• My Mom
• Calipanthergrl
• Kim Z.
• Enophiledude
• Bitchdesk
• Bloody but unbowed (lost two teams but still has title game and champ)
• Large
• Gina

Bloody, slightly bowed (lost one of their title game participants, still has champ playing):

• Kelly
• CrappyDad
• Shadow
• Mr. Burns

Reeling (lost two, one of which is a championship game participant):

• Uncle Crappy
• Adrienne
• AAA
• Grandpa
• HP
• Kim
• Burgh Baby

Standing eight count (lost three, still has champion):

• Casey

And that leaves us with the, uh, Special Group. These unfortunate folks have had varying degrees of success, but will be limited because they’ve lost their championship pick. I’m not saying they can’t win, but I am saying they pretty much can’t win.

• Sarah: Lost two plus her champion. Will you come and drink in Pittsburgh anyway?
• Susan: Lost two plus her champion. Picking Penn State wouldn’t have done her much good either.
• Matlock: Lost three plus his entire championship game. Boldly picked an all-Mon Valley final; I hope he’ll jump on the Ohio State bandwagon from this point forward.

And then there’s Juan, undoubtedly the most special of the special group. The penny I used to make Juan’s picks looks like a genius for tabbing Virginia Commonwealth to do well; the rest of its picks, though — Northern Colorado, St. John’s and Xavier — all flamed out early.

Did I miss you? Did I screw something up? Lemme know and we’ll get it fixed right away.

Towards the end of George Mason’s solid 11-2 start against Ohio State Sunday evening, Mason forward Ryan Pearson starting trash-talking Jared Sullinger about how the game had progressed to that point.

Sullinger’s response? “It’s over, yo.”

The 11-2 score turned into a 50-15 run through the rest of the first half.

Boom.

David Lighty, playing his last game in the state of Ohio — in his hometown of Cleveland, no less — lit up George Mason for seven three on seven attempts, and scored 17 points before halftime.

Boom.

See you in a couple days, Kentucky.

—-

An update on the Sixth Annual Uncle Crappy NCAA Final Four Challenge (Brought to you by Bocktown) will be ready in the morning. Hint: It’s not as bad as you think.

Even though it’ll be another weekend before we start awarding points in the Sixth Annual Uncle Crappy NCAA Final Four Challenge, I’ll post an update tomorrow night so we all can get an idea of where we stand.

And in the meantime, I’ll be dancing my ass off to this guy tonight instead of worrying about my decimated brackets.

But we’ll sort all that out after Thad Matta cuts down the nets on April  4. In the meantime, the games are getting started, and we should take a look at who’s picks will earn them the Bocktown gift card.

As we always do, we start with yours truly:

Ohio State beats San Diego State, which shows its season was not a fluke.

Pitt beats Notre Dame in a game that might not reach 60 total points.

And my Buckeyes beat the Panthers 82-78, giving me unlimited sports bragging rights in Pittsburgh, at least until football season begins.

As we always do, we go next to Mrs. Crappy, who is still a bit disgruntled about the state of OSU football:

OK, Final Four to Champs:

OSU v. Dook
Kansas v. Florida

OSU v. Florida

OSU wins avenging the 2007 season.
Go Buckeyes – in this bracket anyway!

And the rest of yinz guys, starting with Goon Squad Sarah, one of the two evil geniuses running Draft Day Suit:

Well, I’m in. And if I win it is just another excuse to come drink beer in Pittsburgh.

North Carolina v UConn,
Louisville v Pittsburgh

North Carolina v Pittsburgh

Pitt

Next up is Andy, who provided me with enough meat via Burgh Baby’s baseball contest to account for several large farm animals:

If I get any of these right, I will be more surprised than anyone. And because if I win a gift card to Bocktown, my wife will insist we go there…

Ohio State v. San Diego State
Kansas v. Florida

Kansas v. Ohio State

Oooooooohhiii, nah I can’t do it. Kansas. 87-78.

But really, I don’t care if I win or not. I don’t really even care if my hometown Pitt Panthers don’t reach the final four again. I don’t care if the team that tore my heart out as a youth (Danny Manning, you still suck) wins another championship. I swear that all I want is for Rick Pitino to wear that ridiculous white suit again and for a courtside chili and tequila lover to vomit all over it.

As I said before, Andy: I’m totally pulling for that last part.

First-time player and full-time Buckeye Jaci:

I don’t know much about college basketball and make my picks off of my gut feelings (and have done pretty well in the past years from that), so here it is:

Ohio State vs Duke
Kansas vs Pitt

Ohio State vs Kansas

Ohio State = winner
Total score: 145

I’m dubious about her pick for the East region champion, but KimLy made Mrs. Crappy happy:

Note: I never *ever* win these, as one of my final four picks usually gets crushed in the first round.

So: N.Carolina v. UConn
Kansas v. Pitt

N.Carolina v. Kansas

N. Carolina.

That’s right. GO TARHEELS! Wooooo!

(Did I mention I suck at this?)

Casey: I can’t recall if we’ve met, but I’m digging your pick:

Semi-Finals:
Ohio State vs Texas
Georgetown vs Pittsburgh

Finals:
Ohio State over Pittsburgh

Total Score: 153

Doogle’s still bummed that Bobby Mo didn’t make the field:

Semi
Ohio State v Duke
Kansas v Florida

Finals
Kansas v Duke

Champion – Kansas
Final Score – 69-63

Fellow college football freak Kelly gives college basketball a shot:

Alright, giving this a try. Go BIG TEN.

Ohio State beats Arizona.
Notre Dame beats Wisconsin.
Ohio State beats Notre Dame, 127 total points.

Oh, and in case you wondered, Penn State beats Temple, but loses gloriously to San Diego State.

Adrienne, my favorite leprechaun anywhere, has to be happy that the tournament starts on st. Patrick’s Day:

Ohio State v. Duke
Pitt V. Notre Dame

Duke V. Notre Dame

Duke
99-88
Because that’s the score i always pick.

Also, I spelled leprechaun correctly on the first try.

Curl Girl Michelle de-lurked to join us a couple AUCNFFCs ago; she’s been a regular since:

Semi:

Kansas vs. BYU
North Carolina vs. Duke

Final:

Duke vs. Kansas

Champion: Duke
Score: 80-77

If you know my father, you’re not surprised by this pick:

Ohio State vs San Diego State
Notre Dame vs Florida

Ohio State vs Notre Dame

Ohio State

(68-60)

Carla, who’s driving around Nashville with her windows down today:

My entry: Ohio St., Texas, Kansas, Florida. OSU vs. Kansas in final. Kansas wins 72-67.

Actual college basketball player Large is exactly wrong (but makes up for it at the end):

There’s something inherently wrong with having to choose between OSU and UNC and by proxy choosing between Uncle Crappy and Mrs. Crappy. With that in mind, I offer you the winning entry…

Syracuse vs. UCONN
Kansas vs. Pitt

UCONN vs. Kansas

Kansas (68-59)

P.S. I’ll deny it if you tell Mrs. C, Go Bucks!

Some hispanic dude named Senor Jaime who knows way more about traffic in Pittsburgh than you do:

North Carolina vs. Duke
Kansas vs. Pitt

North Carolina vs. Kansas

Champion: North Carolina, 71-66

Fred has his priorities straight. I think:

syracuse v. duke
ku v. fla

ku v. duke

ku wins

i will be happy if i win the gift card since i assume “gift card” = beer.

i will be even more happier if the actual teams i’m rooting for win and, i’m an old man with a job, so i can buy my own beer. my wife has a job too. she also buys me beer sometimes. i’m ready for soccer season. i drink beer at those games too.

what was the question?

Noted sports and cheeseburger expert The Jim:

OH MAN

Ohio St vs UConn
Kansas vs Pitt

Ohio St vs Kansas

Ohio State wins, 75-68

I’m a little surprised that Susan didn’t take Penn State:

UNC vs. San Diego
Purdue vs. Pitt

San Diego vs. Pitt

Pitt 76-71

Despite the fact that AAA is a solid Ohio State fan, she sucks up to Mrs. Crappy:

Never mind. Here you go.

NC vs Duke
Louisville v Pitt

NC vs Louisville

Winner? UNC. (You’re welcome, Mrs. Crappy)

I’m not guessing a score. I can’t count that high.

Derrick emerges from the shadows (HAH!):

ohio state/duke
purdue/butler

duke/purdue

duke

78-76

Ethel is less concerned about beer than Fred. And her picks are better:

Ohio State vs. UConn
Kansas vs. Kansas State

Ohio State vs. Kansas

OSU wins it all. 76-75.

Yay Toast!

NC vs. UCONN
Kansas vs. Florida

UCONN vs. Kansas

Kansas FTW

89 – 83, final

Tim joins us for the first time:

UNC vs. UCONN
Kansas vs. Florida

UCONN 57 vs Kansas 53

UCONN National Champs

Grandpa, our favorite Michigan-based Buckeye:

OSU v. UCONN
Louisville v. Pitt

Final: OSU 78, Pitt 72

One of my favorite things about this time of year is reading Kewyson’s AUCNFFC entry:

Okay – here are mine (didn’t have time to research much – so it’s a swag)

OSU beating out ‘The Wife’s’ Team (name used for old time sakes) to match up with ‘The Wife’s’ nemesis (2 in 1 paragraph even) Duck, who easily handled the kittens from the Queen City.

Flipping over to the other bracket, the boys from Lawrence score more points than the coal based engine gents from West Lafayette. And the much anticipated Union busters from Madison narrowly beating out the ‘But Your Utah?” clan.

So its the Bucks v. Devils and Jayhawks v. Badgers. Nuts and Birds is what I predict.

And finally, if my Ouija Board is right, it’s Big 10(12??) prevailing over the Big 12, even though they seem to have a bit better understanding of basic math.

Final score – OSU – 87; KU 79.

Final Answer.

Bonus: I didn’t even have to ask him to translate this year.

HP wants to buy me a beer at Bocktown next time she visits:

OSU plays San Diego
Purdue plays Pitt

OSU vs Pitt
84 to 79
OSU wins

Woody’s World has the right idea on a couple of levels:

Semi Finals:

• Ohio State v. UCONN
• Kansas v. Florida

Finals:

• Ohio State v. Kansas

Champion:

• Ohio State

Total Score:

Semi final: Ohio State vs Duke, and Kansas vs Pitt
Final: Ohio State vs Kansas
National Champion: Ohio State

Semi-finals: 

Ohio St v. Duke

Notre Dame v. Pitt

Championship game:

Duke v. Pitt

Champion:

Duke 98-93

Ohio State, Pitt, San Diego State and Kansas

OSU vs Kan

OSU 84-79

Uconn beats Fla, 85-79

Xavier vs. Northern Colorado

Virginia Commonwealth vs. St. John’s

St. John’s vs. Northern Colorado

St. John’s. And no, I’m not going to pick a final score.