four eyes.

Sorry about the hair; I had a hat on all night.
Sorry about the hair; I had a hat on all night.

I, uh, look different.

I feel a little different too. The new glasses are not only a change for you; they’re a big freaking change for me as well.

Pictured above, boys and girls, is my first pair of bifocals.

My last eye exam was two years ago. When I was leaving the doc’s office, she made a simple prediction — when I next visited her, I would would need bifocals. And though I thought briefly about stopping back at her office like a week later, just to prove her wrong, I knew deep down my time was coming.

Starting a few months ago, I realized it was time. I was spending more time with my glasses up on my forehead, trying to figure out the proper distance from my face that I needed to hold my phone so I could read the damn thing. Lots of squinting. And lots of ridicule over my new mannerisms from Mrs. Crappy, who is at least a few years behind me in the bifocal department.

I got the exam that confirmed my suspicions on Friday. Saturday morning, I found the new frames. The frames themselves are a big change for me — although I’ve had nice feedback from the few who got a look on Saturday night — but the lenses are a bigger deal. When I first put them on and looked down at the Lenscrafters invoice, it became clear — literally — how much I needed that help.

Walking is interesting, because I need to physically move my head to look down without drifting into the reading portion of the lenses. Driving hasn’t been too difficult, although I need to be mindful of where the glasses are on my face, so I keep the distance part of the lenses — which also received a significant adjustment — where they need to be.

Y’all don’t need to be worried about that stuff, although I hope you’ll be understanding while I continually adjust my head during the first few days I’m wearing these.

But I do hope you like the frames — especially since they’re going to be the ones I’m wearing for the next two years or so.

11 Replies to “four eyes.”

  1. This is a good, good look for you. Have fun getting used to the “repositioning the cranium” thing.


  2. They look good brother! And now I know I’ve got about two years left (my eyes were ok at the checkup a month ago).


  3. Thanks, y’all. I actually startled myself a little when I looked in the mirror this morning. They’re different, but I like ’em.

    E: I think I remember Mom getting her first bifocals a year or two after her 40th birthday. Your time will be coming soon.


  4. I like your frames! I’ll probably have bifocals someday… everyone in my family who has glasses when they’re young ends up with them.


  5. Ah, I remember well the weirdness of having to move my head dramatically so I could always be looking through the distance part of the lens. You were smart to select lenses that are comfortably deep so you aren’t squeezing that progression into a tiny lens. My first bifocals were a little narrow – I have a new pair with more depth, and I can see so much better now! Those lenses look good!


  6. UC, I was just at the eye doc over the weekend too. I can still read 6 point print with ease, but I can’t see a damn thing more than fifty feet away. The glasses really help in tracking my golf ball as it careens into the nearest hazard.


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