It’s been a long week away from Uncle Crappy, and there’s a lot to catch up on. Here we go:
* You’ve already heard about the death of my beloved Treo 300. Just before we left I got a new phone, one of those Nokias that everyone has had at some point, but I’m really missing the web access, email, etc. I don’t expect to be using the Nokia for long.
* The trip was fantastic. It was sunny and warm all week, the snow was in great shape and I skied my ass off. Literally. I think I left it at the bottom of Campground, a run I skied sometime during the middle of the week. The Wife had hard start to the week — her boots that seemed to fit so well suddenly didn’t, and the fact that I took her to the top of the freakin’ Rockies to start her first real run didn’t help much. She took a day off and then we went to Buttermilk, the easiest of the four Aspen areas. That was a great choice; she got her confidence back, but the boots were still a problem. She then rented another pair from a shop in Snowmass and was able to ski without trouble for the rest of the week, bombing down green and easy blue runs at Snowmass on our last day. It was great to see her enjoying the trip, especially after the rough first day, something I was responsible for. She has the skills to ski the run we took her to on Monday — Sandy Park in the Elk Camp section of Snowmass — but I didn’t take into account the fact that she might be intimidated when I asked her to start skiing above the treeline on her first day.
Mom of Uncle Crappy did well too. I generally spent the mornings skiing with her. She would wear out around lunchtime, and then Uncle Crappy had the rest of the day to get to the more interesting runs. Everyone was happy, skiingwise. The only thing I would have changed was getting in one powder day. But thanks to a bizzaro weather mixup — it’s been cold and snowy in Pittsburgh in our absence — it looks like I’ll get one more day of skiing back here, on Friday before the parents come out for a visit. It’s not the Rockies, but it’ll do.
And then there was the food. Excellent Mexican and Cajun in Aspen, good pizza from a little shop in the Snowmass Center and as a topper to the week, a fantastic meal at Krabloonik, a restaurant at Snowmass that specializes in wild game entrees. Mom had prepared us for a fair meal in a very cool restaurant, based on her previous experiences; we got excellent food instead. Elk sausage laced with jalapeno as an appetizer for me, and a bison ribeye for dinner. Sweet Jesus, it was unbelievable.
A bonus: With the exception of one of The Wife’s suitcases taking a later flight to Aspen than we did, the travel part of the trip — on United — came off without a hitch. Memo to Delta: It can be done. Fuckwads.
* While we were flying, The Wife got so irritated with the in-flight audio that she’s now saying things like we should both have our own iPods. Ahhh…
* It was also a pretty good week, hoopwise. Ohio State beat Illinois in the final regular season game of the year before losing in the second round of the Big Ten tourney, and my Bobcats roared through the MAC tournament to earn a birth to the NCAAs. Yes, we’ll have to play Florida in the opening round, but hey, we’re there. And we beat Kent and the Miami Foreskins to get there. HP? Any comment? C’mon, I dare you…
Uncle Crappy 
Dearest Uncle Crappy,
I have to give you a first hand, eyewitness report on the Bobcat victory on Saturday night. I was “dragged”, kicking and screaming, by my new bride (henceforth referred to as “The Bride”) to the game. The Bride singlehandedly created a sixth man for the Bobcats. Even though The Bride is 20 years removed from campus, she still bleeds green.
The initial twenty minutes were either a spectacular shooting display by the Buffs or a pathetic defensive effort by the Bobcats. My humble opinion was crappy defense. After trailing by as many as 16, it was a small miracle that OU trailed by only ten at the break. This author predicted that OU needed to close the deficit to 6 or 8 at the break to have a chance.
A bucket on OU’s first possession closed the deficit to 8 and elicited this from The Bride, “It’s just like being down 8 at the half.” As you know, no smartassed remark goes unpunished in sports. A quick 14-3 run by the Buffs forced OU to call time out with just over 16 minutes to go. The fans in section 108 had an upclose look at a crisis of conscience as for the first time The Bride questioned the Bobcat’s ability to win.
Thankfully, OU scored right out of the time out and the crisis was averted. With the chant O-H-I-O ringing in my ears, the Bobcats staged an incredible comeback. They erased the 19 point deficit. Finally, tying the game with less than 30 seconds to go. OU had a chance to win in regulation. After rebounding Buffalo’s last shot and calling time out, OU had 2.5 seconds to go the length of the court. A beautiful pass to the deep left corner, and two quick dribbles later, the OU player rose up from 8 feet on the baseline. And, shot the ball 7 feet, hitting the front of the rim and bounding harmlessly away.
Amazingly, after years of heartbreak and disappointment at the hands of OU athletics, The Bride didn’t let this setback impact her steely resolve to see this through. During the break in play before the start of OT, a cheerleader from OU ran out onto the court with a gigantic flag sporting the OU Bobcat. The OU supporters erupted in a single voice…though all I could hear was The Bride trying to rupture her vocal cords. In an attempt to counter the momentum, a Buffalo cheerleader ran out with their flag. Thus eliciting this gem from The Bride, “Look at that crappy flag. It’s so puny. How can they win with that crappy flag?” In her own Nostradamus like way, The Bride predicted the outcome based on the size of the flag. Please insert your own “size matters” joke here.
Four and a half minutes of OT had gotten us no closer to determining the MAC rep to the NCAA tourney. Buffalo had the ball, down one, a quick look at the scoreboard showed there wasn’t a timeout to be found for either team. The drama played out in real time as Buffalo’s All MAC point guard Turner Battle rose up and hit a 15 feet jumper to put the Buffs up one. OU inbounded the ball and got it to their point guard Jeremy Fears. He went coast to coast, ala Danny Ainge, with one exception, Fears missed. But his roommate and MAC Freshman of the Year, Leon Williams, went up and tipped it onto the front of the rim. I’ve never seen a tip hang on the rim like that and still tumble into the basket.
Gund arena exploded as the Bobcat faithful celebrated. The Bride, for the first time in her life, actually witnessed a championship for her alma mater. The fans stormed the court, and The Bride stormed the author. Needless to say, I will be praying everyday, for the rest of my life, for another OU Championship team.
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Jesus, that’s outstanding. I mean, I saw a few highlights on Sportscenter, but to have an account of the game — complete with flag sizes — is a beautiful thing. And The Wife wants to meet The Bride — I think they’d get along very well…
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Dearest Uncle Crappy,
The Wife has already met The Bride. Confused? When The Wife met The Bride, The Bride was The Girlfriend. Thinking back, I believe that the meeting took place the first weekend of February 2004. Is it getting clearer?
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1. I live in a state of perpetual confusion. Nobody should find this surprising.
2. Perhaps the meeting could have been the summer prior? The details tend to be a little fuzzy. Something to do with drugs and gallons of beer, or in your case, vodka.
3. Nice to hear from you, and congrats on your recent nuptuals (Really recent, right? Like a month ago?)
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Dearest Uncle Crappy,
I can neither confirm nor deny any statement regarding the perpetual confusion you may or may not be experiencing. To paraphrase a friend, “Uncle Crappy?!? Never heard of him.”
And yes, the details do get a bit cloudy vis a vis summer outings and the consumption of spirits. I had already been corrected by The Bride regarding the details of the initial meeting between The Wife and The Bride.
Lastly, thanks for the nice words on our recent, January 2005, nuptials. Juan was quite a sight in a penguin suit. But that’s a story for another time…
Keep up the good work. We will be checking in periodically to see what you guys are getting into.
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