I don’t think I’ve seen anything quite like the wreckage of Thirteenth Practically Annual Uncle Crappy NCAA Final Four Challenge (Brought To You By Piper’s Pub), in terms of how many people we’re going to honor with a Blutarsky Award here in just a sec.
Chalky picks only work if the higher seeds win, and the higher seeds failed to do that last weekend. Carolina. Duke. The Aforementioned Basketball School Up North. All dumped on their keisters before making the Final Four.
So who might win this thing? No one — not a single TPAUCNFFC (BTYBPP) contestants correctly picked the Final Four. But nevertheless, there are a few possibilities:
Four plus (Two correct Final Four picks and the possibility for more points):
- Uncle Crappy (HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA)
Two plus (One correct Final Four pick and the possibility for more points):
- Socialist Joe
- Dr. Scooter
- Breaking Brews
- Sports Chump
- The Other Scooter
Four and done (Two correct Final Four picks but no more points possible):
- Curl Girl Michelle
Two and done (Two correct Final Four picks but no more points possible):
Before we move on, boys and girls, I would ask that you recall The Crappy Rule, as outlined in the contest’s initial post a couple weeks back. It says, in part:
If I were to come out on top of my own contest (and believe me, boys and girls, there is very little chance of that happening), the Piper’s gift card would be awarded to the next runner up (although I retain full bragging rights, which I would exercise almost daily until next year’s contest).
So pay attention if you still have points coming — you’re still in this thing.
And then … we have the people who most definitely are not still in this thing. You have managed to achieve the ultimate in college basketball futility … and for that, you deserve an award.
A Blutarsky Award.
Why does a college basketball pool have an award named for a fictional character from Animal House? For this one line, which perfectly describes your TPAUCNFFC (BTYBPP) performance:
Blutarsky Award winners (No correct Final Four picks and no points):
- Aunt Annoyed Angel
- Sara Without An H
- Lunchbox Birdshit
Thank you for playing, Blutarsky people. And good luck to the rest of you.