I just noticed that one of today’s Uncle Crappy’s readers visited from a computer with a domain emanating from the U.S. Department of Justice.

Holy crap.

To my friends in federal law enforcement: Did I mention that I’m an honorably discharged Army veteran? That I’m a regular voter? That I’ve always been an admirer of J. Edgar Hoover’s investigative techniques, not to mention his, um, offbeat sense of fashion? I mean, those pumps would have been right at home on an episode of Sex in the City. That’s pretty stylish, my friend.

Look, I’m sorry. For (ahem) lots of things. All misdemeanors, I’m sure. Mostly. Nothing really worth your time.

I’ll be good, from now on.

Starting after this weekend.