We stink.

Uncle Crappy’s pathetic effort in his various NCAA basketball pools has already been documented, but now that we have a Final Four, it’s obvious that everyone else entered in Uncle Crappy’s First Annual NCAA Final Four Contest is equally inept.

Here’s what we got: a Final Four of LSU, UCLA, George Mason and Florida.

Here’s what that means, beyond the blatant suckitude of all the contestants involved: Three people — me, Fred and Mr. Burns — get a point for correctly picking at least one Final Four team. For Fred and me, UCLA got us each the point; in the case of Mr. Burns, who was dragged kicking and screaming into the contest after I made some half-assed picks in his name, the unlikely story of George Mason has kept him in the running.

So. We have us a three-way tie. But here’s the interesting part. Neither Fred nor I can advance further, because we didn’t have UCLA making it to the finals. Only Mr. Burns, who gamely accepted the picks I foisted upon him, can earn another point — if the Patriots beat the Gators to advance to the championship game.

Because I made the picks for Mr. Burns, there’s going to have to be a consultation with The Official Uncle Crappy’s First Annual NCAA Final Four Contest Rules Committee to determine what should happen with the Fabulous Prizes if he gains his second point. But since I already owe Mr. Burns a case of beer for a long-ago completed Simpsons trivia contest, it wouldn’t seem right to stiff him in this case, even though he didn’t make the picks.

And if the three-way tie holds up? Christ, I have no idea what happens then.

This should have been so simple…