left turn, clyde.

Almost immediately upon moving to Pittsburgh 11 years ago, I began noticing a peculiar thing that happened to me nearly every time I was stopped at a traffic light. There would be a person in the left-turn lane facing me. The light would change, and the driver in the left-turn lane would try to charge out in front of everybody.

This is odd, I thought, and a direct contradiction to everything I had learned in driver’s ed class.

It grew even more bizarre, I found, when I was driving the first car in line when someone facing me was trying to turn left. When the light changed, I drove forward, just like I was supposed to. The person who was turning left would inevitably slam on the brakes. And then give me the finger.

Teenagers gave me the finger. Old ladies gave me the finger. A biker-looking guy followed me from Zelienople to Cranberry Township swearing at me at the top of his lungs because I didn’t let him turn left first.

At some point I asked The (Future) Wife, who was still in school in Athens, about this apparent mass display of Tourette’s Syndrome. She was almost as aghast as the time I asked the Giant Eagle deli-counter lady to give me a pound of Isley’s ham. Sliced.

“That’s a Pittsburgh Left,” she said, the total disappointment evident even over the phone. “You’re supposed to let the first one turn left in front of you.”

“Uh, are there signs someplace explaining this?” I asked. “Is it taught in a special Pittsburgh edition of driver’s ed?”

She became disgusted: “Everyone knows about the Pittsburgh Left. I can’t believe you’re not letting people turn left.”

I eventually got The (Future) Wife to admit that it might be difficult for someone who didn’t have the good fortune of growing up in Pittsburgh to know that you don’t in fact have to yield while turning left in Pittsburgh if your vehicle was first in line to turn left. Or that you could give the other driver the finger if he didn’t acquiesce to your God-given right to turn left first. Or that it might cause problems, given that IN EVERY OTHER SINGLE TOWN IN EVERY SINGLE STATE IN THE ENTIRE COUNTRY A DRIVER TURNING LEFT MUST YIELD TO ONCOMING TRAFFIC.

Someone later explained to me that the Pittsburgh Left became a custom to help alleviate traffic backups on the city’s narrow streets. It supposedly speaks to the friendly, helpful manner shared by Pittsburghers in their hometown.

I’m not sure what old ladies giving me the finger says about the friendly, helpful manner says about Pittsburghers and my adopted hometown. But I’d bet Ben Roethlisberger doesn’t like the Pittsburgh Left much.

It makes sense to me. Like me, Roethlisberger is a native Ohioan. Granted, he’s lived here for a couple of years, but he’s had many more years of experience driving in a state that doesn’t arbitrarily ignore traffic laws here and there. It took me many years to grow to expect that that guy turning left is going to try to race me to the middle of the intersection. Ben apparently hadn’t learned that lesson yet.

He apparently missed the lesson about wearing helmets while riding motorcycles too, but that’s a whole different deal.

So. Pittsburgh. Is the Pittsburgh Left still a good idea, now that it almost killed your quarterback?

8 thoughts on “left turn, clyde.”

  1. UC-
    having lived around NYC for a couple of years and in a couple of regions – the ‘Pittsburgh Left’ is a common thing out here – much more so in NJ than in Westchester county NY – however, there are a couple of generally followed guidelines – usually only happens when only 1 lane is going the other way – and the style is more like the ‘Chicago 4-way’ that I’ve also learned – since most city blocks are 4-ways – people get very used to driving efficiently – which means that when the person who is already in the intersection is directly in front of you – now’s the time to hit the gas –

    None of this changes the laws of physics – a 4000 lbs car will always win over a 500 lbs bike – so, do you think the Stillers will change their employment contracts now to prohibit ‘dangerous’ activities such as motorcyle riding and skiing (I guess those big guys can’t ski very well)

    Oh- child update – got one down – one to go – almost too late – I’ve been trying to watch the HBO series Band of Brothers – and really can only do that after the kids are asleep (see, I told you, Father of the year (just don’t know what year quite yet). So now if I start the next one – I might just fall asleep on the couch.

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  2. i will go along reading one of your posts and actually be paying attention to what you are saying and the point you are making and then…you always say something like “my adopted hometown” and i begin to giggle and can hardly read another word…i have very little sympathy for big ben. but not because of the pittsburgh left, but because of his foolishness. also, out here in my adopted hometown of cowtown, i heard that the car that caused the accident was from maine – downeast bastard!

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  3. First I’ve heard of that one. Perhaps it would be better to, say, observe the same rules as the rest of the US? Hmmm?

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  4. I’d never heard of a “pittsburgh left” either. Geez, poor big, dumb Ben. Big Ben, from Findlay, OH and from my alma mater. I’ve always liked you but I never said or even thought you were smart.

    I know you don’t have to wear a helmet on a motorcycle in Ohio. You don’t even need to wear one in Pennsylvania, now. But geez, you and your big noggin’ play for the Stillers. You are the star korter-back and you just won the Super Bowl. Might you want to protect your big ole noggin from terminal deceleration? Just maybe ?

    How about your contract? oh crap! Let’s not even get into that….

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  5. Dear Pig,
    I guess the lady who hit Ben is from Pittsburgh. She just has a vacation home in Maine. And her car is apparently registered there.

    I kind of doubt she’s a Pats fan, somehow. She probably feels like crap. And her insurance company is probably spanking her as we speak.

    xoxo
    HP

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  6. So it was a “Pittsburgh Left” that did Big Ben in? Figures. He went to college in the next town over from us, so he is still a big news draw around here. Still thought he would have enough sense to wear a helmut, though. Since I live in Bengal country, I heard many mentions of “karma” during the last weeks concerning Ben’s injury. Carson Palmer is just getting out and about. I think he was at a cornhole tourney this past weekend.

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  7. “I get knocked down, but I get up again, they ain’t never going to keep me down” – Umbawumba choo choo – or whomever –

    UC – I fear that you’ve been sucked into a dark, damp hole, unable to get yourself out – pushed down by the Bush Admin.’s last lash out at those evil, wicked, naughty journalists –

    Let it out slowly, or you could get hurt

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  8. My daughter took her driver’s exam up at school in Bradford and the examiner flunker her in part because she allowed the truck turning in front of her at a stop sign to go instead of taking the right of way for herself. I always considered the Pittsburgh Left as a courtesy to other drivers. Perhaps that’s why Pittsburgh has earned the spot for the nation’s most courteous drivers.

    And Big Ben didn’t get his face caved in because of a Pittsburgh Left. He earned that by driving too fast, not paying attention to oncoming traffic and violating the law by not wearing a helmet and driving with an expired license.

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