Crappitycrappitycrap.

Can’t watch the game. Pitt’s playing at the same time.

Can’t watch online. The CBS On-Demand video isn’t Mac compatible.

Can’t listen online. Ohio State network stations have to black out their streams and Ohio State’s streaming service isn’t Mac compatible.

Can’t really listen on the regular old radio. WKBN in Youngstown, the closest Ohio State network station, has to turn down its signal at night. I get Paul Keels mixed with some guy speaking Spanish.

I can’t even listen to the Westwood One broadcast. Pittsburgh’s ESPN Radio affiliate, which is carrying the games, has to turn down its signal at night as well.

At this moment, I hate nearly everyone. Except you, of course.

If you wanted to send me email updates, I’d really appreciate it.

HALFTIME: Uh. Yeah. Let’s not worry so much about those emails … The Creamsicles are up 49-32.

15:43, SECOND HALF: Perhaps I let my pessimism get the best of me. Let’s not be hasty here. Lead’s cut to seven points.

12:18: I hadn’t intended to spend my night live blogging, but I’ll be fucked if I’m going back in the living room to watch Pitt and screw around with the radio. Sitting at the computer seems to be working. 57-53. TV timeout. Getting another beer.

11:53: This timeout brought to you by Penn Marzen — crisp, refreshing … the beer that says, “I hate Rocky Top.” Or something like that.

11:45: Lewis makes two free throws but then fouls. Are we dealing with guys who normally referee junior high school games?

10:54: Seriously. We cut the lead to one, but Oden gets called for his fourth. Hunter also has four; Conley has three. There’s only one Creamsicle with more than two.

9:34, UT’s up two. I should clarify a couple of things. 1) I’m following the game via ESPN.com’s gamecast. 2) The refs must be the biggest candy-asses of all time — the foul calls, both ways, are constant. Maybe the game’s just that brutal, but jesus … enough already.

8:34, We’re up two. On free throws, naturally.

8:05. Up three on a Conley layup. Dispatch says he’s staying for another year. Mike? Could you mention something to your high school buddy about staying as well?

7:26, game’s tied at 68 after Lofton made a three for the Creamsicles. Whew. The Pitt-UCLA game is about over — only 31 seconds left — but I’M NOT GOING TO WATCH ON TV, no matter how bitchy I was earlier this evening.

Still 7:26. UT has more total fouls than we do, 19-15. Apparently the invasive officiating is going both ways.

6:58. Three-pointer by Jamar! Yessssss … we’re up 72-68.

5:51. They got a three of their own to cut our lead to one. This is making me nuts…

5:11. Tied at 74. We don’t want to start trading buckets here.

3:59. They’re up 77-74. We’re shooting free throws when the TV timeout is over. I’m almost ready for another beer.

Still 3:59. Pitt got waxed. But I’m not turning on the TV. Which means I’m an idiot.

Still 3:59. I’m just staring at the computer, waiting for something to happen. I also have to pee.

3:20. Oden made both free throws but they followed with a layup. But David Lighty makes a three to tie us at 79. I still have to pee.

2:40: UT takes a timeout. I’m gonna go pee now.

2:40, still in the timeout. I feel much better now, thanks.

2:40. If you’re a member at ESPN’s web page, it addresses you by name if you’re signed in. But the auto-refresh is screwing that up. I’ve gone from my real name — Uncle Crappy, of course — to Matt, Ryan and now Greg. None of these, as many of you know, are even vaguely close to being accurate.

2:30. Something happened, and then we called a timeout. ESPN’s holding out on me. Still 79-79.

1:57. “Greg” — no, “Ryan” — just got another beer. And we just traded threes. 82-82.

1:38. Up 84-82 on two Oden free throws.

1:18, same score. I’m now Kerri.

1:08. They made one of two free throws; we’re up 84-83 and Thad took a timeout. I’m still Kerri.

0:38. ESPN missed a bunch. Still up one, but a foul on Ronnie Lewis. They’ll be shooting free throws. Made one for the tie at 84 … Must have missed the second, foul on them.

0:06. We’re on the line … Conley made the first to tie at 84. They’ll have one more possession, and they’ll only need a two to win it.

0:06. Holyfuckingshit. Junior made the second to put us up one. UT timeout.

0:01. Arrgh!! What? ESPN said we rebounded a missed layup … game must be over…

FINAL. WE WIN 85-84. I’m going to watch TV for a second…

A couple minutes later: You’ve all seen this by now, but I just saw it as a replay for the first time … Junior misses his second free throw, they drive the length of the floor. Ramar Smith heads in for the winning layup but the Big Fella has hoofed it all the way back to block the shot. That’s a miracle, boys and girls, on an even bigger scale than the Xavier game. We were down 19 points in the first half … Oden had three fouls by halftime … and we came back and won that sonofabitch. I’m going to finish my beer and try to get some sleep … this is Jeff … no, John … no, Kerri saying good night.