Before we get to the absolute hilarity that is the Browns on draft day, we can’t possibly let this go by without comment. The Stillers announced a host of fun things yinzers everywhere can expect as the team celebrates its 75th anniversary. As you might expect, I have some thoughts:
I’m not sure why the Stillers are celebrating 75 years, expecially when no one in Pittsburgh seems to be willing to acknowledge that football was played here prior to 1970. Because before then the Stillers sucked, never making the playoffs and never,
ever beating the Browns.
The throwback uniforms, which will be worn twice during the season, aren’t bad, although you can’t really see in this picture the Green Bay Packer helmets that go with them. Unfortunate.
And then there’s the mascot, the yellow bastard child of Bill Cowher and Ken Rice. I’m not sure why anyone thought this was necessary — except for everyone who works at KDKA, which gave the big yellow freak more airtime than its own anchors last night. And it doesn’t seem that Pittsburgh is especially happy with
the choice as well. We do still have the contest — sponsored by, duh, KDKA — to name him. I’ll be submitting “Bastard Child of Bill Cowher and Ken Rice,” and I’m sure I won’t be the only one. Or, I could go with “Big Yellow Dirtyface Ugly Guy.” Or maybe something else. The possibilities are endless.
$$$
OK. Now let’s get to the real fun: Who will the Browns screw up — uh, select … I meant select — with their first-round pick in today’s draft? The consensus seems to be that Brady Quinn will be the choice. Adrian Peterson is a possibility, although the recent revelation that his shoulder is still hurt may drop him down. And Joe Thomas would be a solid — and sensible — choice.
And trading down — for as many picks as possible — should be a possibility as well. In fact, I’m going to go ahead and say that would be Uncle Crappy’s chosen preference.
What do I think will happen?
We’re going pick a long-snapper. Hey, those guys are important.