The geography lessons imparted by sports continue to amaze.

You’ll recall a night during the NCAA basketball tournament a couple months back when I discovered that Pittsburgh was actually an ACC town. I found this out when a Duke game was broadcast here in favor of the Ohio State game I was hoping to watch. And here all this time I had been thinking that the Big Ten might be of interest to folks who, say, attended Penn State and lived in our area.

I got a new lesson tonight: Apparently, Pittsburgh is located in Northeast Ohio. I found this out just a few minutes ago, when I turned on the television, hoping to watch the Indians and the Red Sox on the ESPN2 broadcast being shown TO EVERYONE ELSE IN THE ENTIRE FUCKING COUNTRY. But no. The game is blacked out here. I don’t know all of baseball’s blackout rules, but I know that in general, it’s determined by geography; you don’t want the national broadcast to interfere with the local rights-holder and their broadcast.

I know Sports Time Ohio isn’t available on my cable package. I would doubt it’s available on any cable package in the entire Pittsburgh area. There’s no risk of competition, but I still can’t watch the game, not even when THE INDIANS JUST SCORED FOUR RUNS IN THE TOP OF THE FUCKING SIXTH INNING TO TAKE A 6-2 LEAD.

To everyone who is even remotely involved in making this decision: I hope a fiery meteor falls on your house. Fuckers.