help.

I’m feeling really unmotivated.

There’s lots of fun stuff going on, but nothing that really screams for Uncle Crappy-style attention.

Instead, I have questions. So. We’re going to make this the first-ever Uncle Crappy Quiz/Poll thing. Respond accordingly.

1) Vacation plans for Uncle Crappy and The Wife: Beer tour or beach?

2) Which Cleveland Browns player will suffer a season-ending injury during the first week of training camp?

3) Buying a house: Get one with a small courtyard or an actual backyard (albeit a small one)?

4) Ohio State’s record after this year’s 12 regular-season games are complete?

5) What’s the best band I haven’t seen but should?

6) Will the Indians make the playoffs?

7) Tailgate party food you most want to see return this year? Tailgate party food we haven’t yet tried but should?

8) Chinese or Mexican?

9) Favorite disgusting fast-food meal?

10) To wrap it up, ask me a question. Doesn’t matter what it is — I’ll give anything a shot.

10 thoughts on “help.”

  1. 1. Beach w/beer cooler
    2. Vick, oh wait – wrong team – none – Browns will make playoffs this year
    3. Backyard – but make sure all other parts of the home fit your needs – you’ll be inside a whole lot more than in the backyard / courtyard
    4. 10-2
    5. Elvis
    6. Yes, and then loose to the resurging Yankees
    7. Unqualified to respond
    8. Chixican
    9. McDonalds #2 breakfast meal with orange juice
    10. What number am I thinking of?

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  2. UC,
    1. Beach by day, beer tour by night. Do the questions get harder as we go?
    2. Jamal Lewis, always where it hurts the most.
    3. Courtyard, no lawnmower required.
    4. 12 – 0, we’re fanatics, right?
    5. Haven’t you seen every band, ever?
    6. Yes, on the last day of the season.
    7. Best tailgate food: Brats and kraut, don’t forget the horseradish.
    8. Chinese, because an hour later I can have Mexican
    9. Mr. Hero Romanburger
    10. UC leaves his house at noon traveling west at 60 mph. Father of UC leaves his house at 1:00pm traveling east at 50 mph. In what town, do they meet for an OSU pep rally?

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  3. 1. Beer tour
    2. No idea
    3. Depends on the purpose…knowing you, and what I think you like..I’d go for the courtyard..hang some cool lights..get a good bbq, outdoor stereo, and comfy furniture…NO LAWNMOWER
    4. 10-2 comes to mind
    5. No idea
    6. Yes! They’re due
    7. I like to think of you all bundled up outside in Novemeber eating hot chowder
    8. Mexican…you can eat it night after night…can’t do that with chinese
    9. Big Mac and french fries..best for hangover
    10. When are you coming to visit?

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  4. 1)Beer tour..have you seen who goes to the beach these days?

    2)Cleveland who??

    3)Courtyard…from a man who knows.

    4)11-1…There’s always that “M”-place wildcard

    5)Ummm…Drive-by Truckers??

    6)Is that hockey?

    7)Makers Mark…goes with everything. Well, it’s food in my world.

    8)Mexican with Sirrachi (Rooster) sauce.

    9)Zantigo cheese chilitos…does that one take y’all back???

    10)If the fine dead fuel moistures are 1%, the 100 hour fuel moistures are 3% and the live foliar moistures are hovering at 90%; will I get liquored up tonight at the casino??

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  5. Your answers:
    Kewyson: 34.
    Large: Given that I live a lot farther north than he does, I’ll be getting to Medina about the same time he’ll be arriving in Zanesville. From there, if he turns north and I head in his direction, we’ll meet just south of Millersburg about 70 minutes later.
    Sister: That’s a hard one. Soon, I hope.
    Dirt Merchant: Lemme grab a calculator … punch in some numbers … and the answer is … yes.

    DM, you also get a special bonus for the Zantigo reference. Every time I get something from Taco Bell, I remember how good Mexican-style fast food could be … but is no longer.

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  6. And, DM, Drive-By Truckers is an excellent choice. I’ve tried to catch them here a couple of times, but my schedule never seems to work.

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  8. 1. Beach tour–lots of “beer tours” at most beaches–maybe we could help if you do the Florida beaches.

    2. Brady Quinn but sorry I really don’t care much anymore.

    3. Backyard. You can do everything in the backyard that you can in a courtyard but lots more. Cutting grass is therapeutic.

    4. 10-2 but we still beat Michigan.

    5. Sorry, not up on music enough to give a good suggestion.

    6. Yes

    7. Wings–spicier the better. They make you drink more beer.

    8. Mexican.

    9. Big Mac is still my weakness although have been good lately.

    10. Who’s going to be the next President and why? Not who you want it to be.

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  9. Caught DBT opening for Willie and friends on the 4th at the Gorge.

    Son Volt & DBT were tight…the Old 97s were….um, drunk and Willie rocked well past midnight.

    While there I repeatedly paid $10 for 24oz. Coors Light cans. How’s that for a bargain?

    Yes, I often dream of the real cheese chilito. Often imitated, never duplicated.

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  10. Bro-in-law: you get some specific responses, even though you didn’t mention Zantigo.

    2. I think the biggest reason I still care at all is that I’m living in the home of the enemy, and it’s enormously fun on those rare occasions when the Brownies beat the Stillers. If I was in Columbus, I’m not sure I’d even notice there was Sunday football anymore.

    3. I’m pretty much with you, although this question speaks more to the neighborhoods we’re considering than the actual outdoor space. The houses in the Mexican War Streets are like row houses, and most have a tiny outdoor space in back — sheltered on all sides — so a patio/courtyard/garden is a lot more practical there. In Brighton Heights, there are actual yards — not big ones, but with room for both a deck and actual grass. That’s the basic choice. Both are city neighborhoods, but the Mexican War Streets are definitely part of a tougher area — an 18-year-old kid was shot and killed with an assault rife there last night. We occasionally hear gunshots where we live now, but automatic rifle fire is something else entirely.

    5. You could suggest Springsteen. I still haven’t seem him.

    7. Wings are tough, because they tend to be messy, and we tend to be drunk. Not a good combination. Maybe some kind of dry rub would work…

    9. Big Macs are up there. My ideal is to sit down with a dozen White Castles — ketchup and no pickles — but since we don’t have that option in the Burgh, I may have to go with A&W chili dogs. Three please.

    10. Wow. Good question. Although we haven’t discussed it much, I’m sure you’re aware of my political leanings, so let’s start with the Democrats. I like the two biggest candidates — Hilary and Obama — but if you step back and take a pragmatic look, I’m not sure whether either one is electable — Obama’s black, and Hilary’s the female Clinton, and while I don’t have a problem in either case, I’m not sure America’s ready to overcome its biases there. And that leaves us with the Republicans. Mit’s got too much of a liberal past to get past the primaries. McCain is broke, and that’s bad news for a presidential campaign that’s still eight months away from the first primary. And then there’s Rudy, who’s doing his best to remind us that the bad guys are still out there — a failing of the current administration, but why get caught up in those details? I think that tactic is reprehensible — similar to the false pretenses that got us involved in the war in Iraq — but I also think it’s enough to get him the GOP nomination. And, if I match him up against Clinton or Obama right now, I think he wins.

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