The dawn at Punxsutawney was bright and clear, so Phil saw his shadow and predicted six more weeks of winter. That part made me happy. Unfortunately, Phil didn’t offer any guidance as to when that six weeks would start.
I learned something even more illuminating while watching the broadcast this morning. Predictably, a Terrible Towel had been placed within Phil’s stump, so when Bill Deeley, his handler, hauled him out at 7:20 this morning, there was a towel waiting to get the crowd “farred up,” as they say around here.
Except that when Deeley held Phil up for the kinda lethargic crowd — it was more fun when drinking was tolerated up on the Knob — Phil let loose, peeing all over the stage. And Deeley, who has been Phil’s handler for so long that he’s actually retiring from the job after this year, took the only resourceful course available to him — he wiped Phil’s butt with the towel.
And now I know what a Terrible Towel is for.