proclamation.

WHEREAS, Mrs. Crappy, the wife of the proprietor of this blog, has had a kind of miserable week; and

WHEREAS, Mrs. Crappy was forced to endure the destruction of her family homestead by fire on Sunday night; and

WHEREAS, Mrs. Crappy was screwed out of attending a concert by Dark Star Orchestra on Tuesday because she was asked to cover a school board meeting in the place of a reporter who was covering a police standoff in Zelienople instead; and

WHEREAS, Said school board meeting was unproductive and didn’t actually require the presence of Mrs. Crappy; and

WHEREAS, There has been at least one other instance of Mrs. Crappy’s Work getting in the way of Mrs. Crappy’s Fun; and

WHEREAS, We’re going to try to do something nice for Mrs. Crappy to offset the torture and agony of this week; and

WHEREAS, I’m thinking we’re going to need more than a single day to offset said torture and agony; and

WHEREAS, So let’s set it up so we have an entire Mrs. Crappy Weekend; and

WHEREAS, I’m thinking we should just go ahead and start this right now; and

WHEREAS, If you see Mrs. Crappy this weekend, you should be extra nice to her and offer to give her a backrub or buy her a beer or something; and

WHEREAS, If you have suggestions about perhaps meeting her somewhere I’d be happy to make some arrangements; and

WHEREAS, If, alternately, you don’t think you’ll run into Mrs. Crappy over the weekend, you could always leave a nice, uplifting comment at the end of this post;

NOW, THEREFORE, BE IT RESOLVED, that Friday, February 27; Saturday, February 28; and Sunday, March 1, 2009, shall be declared “Mrs. Crappy Weekend” in the City of Pittsburgh, the County of Allegheny and Any Other Surrounding Environs Mrs. Crappy Deems Fit To Include;

BE IT FURTHER RESOLVED, that anyone who should happen to encounter Mrs. Crappy during “Mrs. Crappy Weekend” in the City of Pittsburgh, the County of Allegheny and Any Other Surrounding Environs Mrs. Crappy Deems Fit To Include is hereby encouraged to generally be nice to her and stuff so that she may be aided in the effort to put this horrible week behind her.

IT IS HEREBY PRONOUNCED, on Friday, February 27, 2009, by Uncle Crappy. Amen.

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29 thoughts on “proclamation.”

  1. I don’t know if I’ll have the pleasure of seeing Mrs. Crappy on this auspicious weekend. so let me here extend Greeting, Salutations, and Very Best Wishes for A Thrilling Weekend of Great Joy.

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  2. Mrs. Crappy, I don’t know you, and I’ve only just met Mr. Crappy, but I think this is an adorable proclamation. Have a lovely weekend you two crazy kids!

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  3. Dear Mrs. Crappy,

    I wish I could buy you a beer this weekend. No, I take that back. I wish I could buy you a bottomless pitcher of Lowenbrau Dark and we could sit together in a booth in a great bar with a kick-ass jukebox and just talk about stupid shit for hours. One of these days, we’ll do that. Until then, have a great Mrs. Crappy Weekend. From the sound of it, you deserve that and more!

    Love,
    Your Friends in Michigan

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  4. You are the greatest husband ever, Uncle Crappy. Unless Mrs. Crappy says you’re not, in which case her opinion shall overrule all because it is all about her. For now. Nah, for always.

    LURVE YOU, MRS. CRAPPY!

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  5. Wow, you are a fantastic hubby! I hope that you both can relax and enjoy the weekend you both deserve so much.

    I likely will not run into Mrs. Crappy this weekend, but should I in the near future, I will be sure to buy her a beer.

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  6. Thanks, y’all. I’m happy to say that Mrs. Crappy Weekend is looking good already — just scored eighth-row seats to see Wilco in Athens in April.

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  7. The republic of “Demunz” will recognize this celebration of “Mrs. Crappy”. We will for the aforementioned set length of time and borders refer to the one known as “Mrs. Crappy” as “Mrs. Happy” and provide uplifting comments and actions.
    IF YOU VIOLATE THIS DECREE, YOU WILL BE DRAWN AN QUARTERED IN MARKET SQUARE! or forced to listen to the entire Jon Tesh album, TWICE! *ouch*

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  8. Way to go Uncle Crappy! You rock as a husband. and I’m not sure I’ll see Mrs. Crappy this weekend (unless you come to the double wide grill Sunday morning around 10 am for a WYEP pancake fundraiser) so ROCK ON Mrs. Crappy, you deserve it.
    I also heard Pittsburgh’s mayor was changing his name to Crappystahl this weekend in honor of Mrs. Crappy.

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  9. May this weekend be the start of good fortune for HRH Mrs. Crappy, and similarly may it be the start of hellfire and suckage for all those who have attempted to thwart her!

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  10. Wow, that’s a hell of a week.

    We’re having dinner downtown on Saturday and we have an overnight sitter. If yinz guys are in tahn, text me and I’ll be happy to buy Mrs. Crappy a beverage or four!

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  11. Thanks everyone! Its all so nice of you guys!
    Well, I’m finally out of the office to start this Craptastic weekend! See some of you I hope. Those I don’t, because of either timing or distance, know that I will think of you until after the fifth beer. Then I’ll just think about how long the potty line is! Love Ya! MC

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  12. Oh! Brother, you’re a very good husband and sister-in-law you’re a very deserving wife. Wish you could hop on a plane and spend Mrs. Crappy Weekend in sunny FL on the beach drinking beer.

    Have a great one :)

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  13. Sorry to hear that Mrs. Crappy’s week has been full of teh suck. But I’m glad to see that her brilliance found her married to such a nice guy who is willing to dedicate the full weekend to her, not just by himself, but by proclamation to the entire region.

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  14. MB: You, of all people, have an excellent excuse. I’m really sorry that you seemed to be next in line for the Week O’ Shit; if you need us to declare next weekend MindBling Weekend, let me know.

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