Something that’s going to make me insane, and is possibly stupid, but still.
Y’all are accustomed to hearing me grumble about being the old guy. It’s mostly something I like to joke about, but there are times — like the two days following Yinz Bowl and the accompanying aches and pains — when it’s pretty apparent to me that I am an old guy, trying to keep up with friends who are, in general, much, much younger.
For a fat old guy, I’m fairly healthy. But I’ve got all kinds of fun things in my family history — diabetes, high blood pressure and heart disease among them — that tell me I need to take some steps to ensure I’m going to be around for a while. I’ve been lucky, because that stuff hasn’t been a problem for me yet, but as I’m carrying around 50 or 60 more pound than I need to be, it’s probably just a matter of time before it does.
So. I’m going to run. Specifically, I’m going to run in — and finish — the half-marathon portion of the Pittsburgh Marathon on May 2.
(Oh, god, I can’t believe I just typed that.)
I won’t be alone. Mrs. Crappy, who used to run in several 5Ks a year, is going to join me; half veterans Fred and Ethel are going to run Pittsburgh as well, and HP and DD — who have finished all kinds of crazy shit like century bike rides and triathalons as part of a Cleveland-based Team In Training group — are going to do the same in the Cleveland Marathon two weeks later (slackers).
I was, at one time, good at this. As part of the Army’s physical training tests, each soldier is required to complete a two-mile run within an age-based time frame. I was 23 when I finished basic training, and was required to finish the run in 16:36; I don’t recall the exact time, but I know it just over 13 minutes. And while I’ve never been a fan of running, at that point it wasn’t hard — and almost enjoyable.
Of course, this time I don’t have a drill sergeant screaming at me. And my hips, knees and ankles are all 20 years older than they were during that idyllic summer at Fort Knox. But I do have a goal, and I definitely have a reason to not only train for a single event but make some changes that will sustain me for years to come.
Uncle Crappy (the blog) will not turn into a running blog, and I won’t be starting a separate site to chronicle all the stuff that happens between now and May 2. But, once a week or so, I’ll be sure to bitch about update yinz guys on our progress as we work towards being able to run 13.1 miles without dying.
That last thing seems like a reasonable goal, right? Right?