A few years ago, I told you the story of getting a birthday present from Tiffany for Mrs. Crappy — and the subsequent discovery that carrying a bag from Tiffany through Ross Park Mall was the surest way to get noticed by women I had ever seen.

Over the weekend, Mrs. Crappy discovered the male equivalent.

As some of you know, Mrs. Crappy recently started working a big-box home improvement store. As per her preference, she is working in the lawn and garden department, which gives her a lot of time outdoors and around the fun, summer-y gadgets that seem to universally make everyone happy.

Especially guys, it seems.


While working over the weekend, she had to load up a big, fancy gas grill on one of the carts and haul it across the store to a customer who needed to finish his shopping in the contractors’ section. And as she pushed the grill from one side of the store to the other, she noticed that every single guy she passed stopped and turn to watch the grill pass by.

To summarize: To attract women, carry a Tiffany-blue shopping bag. To attract men, a gigantic grill will do the trick.

Superficial? Sure. But it would have worked for me.


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