I can’t begin to explain how excited I am about going through Scarehouse on Tuesday night.

I love Halloween, and going through haunted houses use to be a big part of the fun of October. I loved even the little ones run by the local Jaycees or similar groups in Columbus; I loved the big ones too, like the one that was set up in the old Ohio Penitentiary near downtown Columbus years ago.

I’ve written stories about the haunted attractions around Beaver County, but I haven’t been through one in years. And while I’ve heard great things about Scarehouse — mostly that it’s one of the best ones in the country — I haven’t made time to do it.

Until this year.

If you haven’t already, take a look at the trailer for this year’s haunt. Clowns? Check. Shit jumping at you? Check. Freaking psycho bunny rabbit costume-wearing psychos with axes? Check. They even have disembodied crackling recorded voices, which, as I’ve mentioned before, is something that never fails to freak me out.

I think Scarehouse did a social media night last season, but I was tied up with work and couldn’t go. This time, I wasn’t going to miss the chance, especially since we get to help out a couple friends — and torture one of them at the same time.

Most of you already know about Make Room for Kids and Christmas Crazy, the respective fundraising drives organized by Ginny and Michelle. With the help of the folks at Scarehouse, they’ve come up with a new wrinkle, which will pay off — for the kids, and for the rest of us — on Tuesday night. They’ve each been selling VIP tickets through their respective blogs; the money goes to their charities, but to the winner goes the spoils, and in this case, that means making the other suffer a little bit.

If Michelle ends up selling the most tickets, Ginny has to go through Scarehouse by herself. She is not pleased by this possibility:

If Michelle wins, and more people purchase their October 5 ScareHouse tickets through her … I will … have to … GO THROUGH THE ENTIRE FREAKING SCAREHOUSE ALL BY MY PANTS-PEEING MOMMY-WANTING UNDERWEAR-SHITTING SELF! No one to hide behind. No one to say to me, “Chillax. It’s all fake.”

This cannot happen.

I cannot lose.

If Ginny outsells Michelle, Michelle will be spending the evening in an outfit similar to this:

If you know Michelle, you know this is the very antithesis of her personality. Naturally, she is not pleased by this possibility:

There are also promises of prizes for VIPs, as well as front-of-the-line access to all three haunts at Scarehouse that night. I. Cannot. Wait.

And yes, we purchased two VIP tickets. From whom? Heh. Ain’t tellin’.


  1. I’m going to bet you bought one ticket from each of them, because you guys are diplomatic and awesome like that. Or you let Mr. Miles decide.


  2. I really don’t know which I’d prefer!
    Sadly I won’t make it to the Scarehouse what with work-esque stuff ‘n all but I can’t wait to see sells the most tickets.
    It would seem that no matter who loses, we all win!


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