this one goes to eleven.

eleven giphy

Most March Madness basketball contests only go to 10.

But this March Madness basketball contest — the Eleventh Annual Uncle Crappy NCAA Final Four Challenge (Brought To You By Bocktown) — goes to 11.

I have a hard time remembering where I live these days, so I’m going to post a refresher about the ins and outs of entering AUCNFFC this year or any other. Here we go:

  • Find yourself a copy of the bracket. If you can’t manage that, I should probably disqualify you from the TAUCNFFC (BTYBB) right now. But I’m feeling generous, so here’s one, provided by the nice folks who employ me. Print it and fill it out.
  • After consulting your bracket, pick the four teams — one from each region — that you think will win the regional championships and travel to the Final Four in Indy.
  • After consulting your bracket again, pick the two teams you think will win the national semi-final games on April 2.
  • Consult your bracket once more, and pick the team from your semi-finalists who will win the title game April 4
  • How do I figure out who wins? You get two points for picking a correct Final Four team, four points for a correct semi-finalist and six points for a correct national championship pick. Assuming I can add correctly (and there is no guarantee of that, boys and girls), the entry with the highest point total is our winner.
  • Yes, there is a tie-breaker and, yes, as we’ve seen several times, tiebreakers are important. When you submit your pick, please also include your projected score for the championship game. If it’s necessary, the entry whose total score is closest to the real thing will be our winner. Note: We do NOT follow the Price Is Right rule; the closest total, over or under, wins.

Still confused? Given that I’m writing this in a hurry I’m mostly copying and pasting from past AUCNFFC intros, that’s entirely possible. Here’s a purely hypothetical example of what an entry from this year’s bracket could look like (Note 1: This is NOT my entry. Note 2: These are the lowest seeds in the tournament; if you want to make this your entry, feel free, but do so understanding the risk of being Blutarskied):

Final Four: Austin Peay vs. Cal State Bakersfield, Florida Gulf Coast vs. Middle Tennessee

Championship game: Austin Peay vs Florida Gulf Coast

Champion: Florida Gulf Coast, 74-66

Simple, right? As you begin to mull your picks, here are a couple of other things to keep in mind:

  • One thing to make sure you don’t do: Send me money to enter. As has always been the case, TAUCNFFC (BTYBB) is free.
  • In the first four years of the contest, we were competing for cheesy trinkets and I usually included a disclaimer that our FABULOUS PRIZES weren’t actually fabulous. And then Chris at Bocktown Beer and Grill blew that out of the water by putting up a $30 gift card to the contest’s winner. I have since taken over the fabulous-prize-providing portion of the Fabulous Prizes: a $50 Bocktown gift card for the winner. An admission: It occurs to me that I never actually got around to doing what TAUCNFFC (BTYBB) winner Kewyson suggested we do with the winnings. This is not the first time this has occurred — as Mr. Burns or Father Spoon could tell you — and we will do that as soon as it consistently warms up a bit.
  • Note: If you’re an out-of-town contestant, you may opt for the equivalent cash value of the gift card, which is, uh, approximately $50.
  • The tournament’s real games (the ones that used to be called the first-round games) get underway around 12:15 p.m. Eastern Thursday; I’m not a huge stickler, but I’ll need to have your entries by noonish that day for you to be eligible (see the Melo Rule below).
  • How do you enter? Comment. Email. Twitter. DM. Text. Facebook. Smoke signal. Please feel free adding whatever commentary you wish regarding how you arrived at your picks; each entry will be listed in a comprehensive post that’ll show up at some point Thursday.

And finally, the fine-printy things:

The Juan Rule: As is tradition, Juan, oh he of very little basketball knowledge, will once again be entered against his will, using either the Phil’s Mom Method or, if Phil’s mom isn’t picking this year, the Penny-Flipping Method.

The Melo Rule: Should an unforeseen thing happen with a player, a coach or a booster that might, in your opinion, have an impact on your already-completed entry, fear not. You may tinker as much as you like until I close the entries at noon on the tournament’s opening day.

The Crappy Rule: If I were to come out on top of my own contest (and believe me, boys and girls, there is very little chance of that happening), the Bocktown gift card would be awarded to the next runner up (although I retain full bragging rights, which I would exercise almost daily until next year’s contest). Mrs. Crappy, should she remember to get her entry in on time, does her own work and is therefore eligible to win the card (as long as she uses it to take me to dinner).

To summarize:

  • Free.
  • Easy.
  • Deadline is noon Thursday.
  • Fifty bucks at Bocktown for the winner.

Have any questions? Let me know. Otherwise, good luck to everyone — especially me Mrs. Crappy.

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11 thoughts on “this one goes to eleven.”

  1. Final Four: Kansas vs. Oklahoma, N. Carolina vs. Michigan State
    Championship Game: Kansas vs. Michigan State
    Champion: Kansas, 74-72

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  2. Final 4: Kansas vs Arizona; Kentucky vs Notre Dame
    Championship Game: Kansas vs Notre Dame
    Champion: Kansas 68-59

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  3. Final Four: Kansas over Cincinnati and Michigan State over North Carolina
    Championship: Kansas over Michigan State, 69-62
    Tournament Highlight: Duke loses to Yale in the Round of 32!

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  4. Maryland over Oregon, Virginia over Xavier
    Championship Maryland over Virginia 72-64

    Highlight? Notre Dame gets spanked. But then again isn’t that *always* a highlight

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  5. Final Four: Villanova vs Oregon and North Carolina vs Virginia

    Championship game: Villanova vs Virginia

    Champion: Virginia, 78-68

    Good luck everyone!!

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  6. (Not looking at previous comments…yet)

    Ethel: Iowa, St. Joe’s, Xavier, MSU; final St. Joe’s and Xavier; Xavier wins, 66-63.
    Fred: KU, Oklahoma, UNC, MSU; final UNC and MSU; MSU wins. (I don’t have his tie break-will see if we can get that filled in soon.)

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  7. From Patrick: Kansas, Oklahoma, North Carolina., Michigan State, final North Carolina and Kansas, winner Kansas by a score of 73-68

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