Page 2 of 2

aucnffc wall of champions.

I can’t think, off the top of my head, of a more prestigious award in all of sports than to be named champion of the Annual Uncle Crappy NCAA Final Four Challenge.

And starting this week, you have a chance to add your name to that illustrious list (which you can do by participating in the Eighth Annual Uncle Crappy NCAA Final Four Challenge (Brought To You By Bocktown).

Here’s a year-by-year recap of our contests — and our champions.

2006: AUCNFFC had a modest beginning. So modest, in fact, that it warranted just a single paragraph in an entry that was mostly about our cat. The modest start attracted a modest field; just seven people, three of whom were badgered by me into participating and a fourth who flat out refused but was entered by me against his will, entered. Of course, that tiny field resulted in a three-way tie for the championship: Mr. Burns (you’ll be hearing his name again shortly), Fred and Yours Truly. I think Mr. Burns and Fred each got a fabulous prize* of some kind, and I may have bought myself a beer.

2007: This was the year that I learned to hate the entire state of Florida; not only did my football Buckeyes lose to the Gators in January’s national championship game, but the basketball Buckeyes lost to UF for the hoops title as well. But it was a good year for Mr. Burns, who won a share of the AUCNFFC championship for the second year in a row.

Fabulous.
Fabulous.

2008: We had 18 entries, and if I recall, a whole bunch of us picked North Carolina to win that year’s title. Kansas was the champion, and the Most Reverend Father Spoon was one of the few to pick the Jayhawks making it to the title game. I don’t honestly recall what all of the fabulous prizes* were over the years, but because I took a picture of Doug, I know he won a trophy, pictured above, and an autographed, circa-1984 picture of me, which I’m sure he still cherishes.

2009: We bounced to 24 entries, including the by-then standard paragraph-long annual opus by Kewyson and the first year that Gina allowed her pets to make her picks for her. Mrs. Crappy was a winner, in the sense that North Carolina won the title — something she didn’t actually witness, because she went to bed early — but Kewyson was our FAUCNFFC champion.

2010: This was the year that the prizes became actually fabulous — because this was the year that Chris Dilla began offering up a Bocktown gift card to the AUCNFFC winner. Who got the first one? Out of 37 entries, Mr. Burns — who would have made me draw his picks for him again, until I threatened to write him down for all 15 seeds — won an unprecedented third AUCNFFC championship.

2011: Another year, another Bocktown gift card — and another increase in the number of contestants, up to 38. This was the year that I swore off ever picking Pitt to win an NCAA tournament game again (good advice for this year, boys and girls); it was also a close one, with Tim and Ted both picking the correct champion — UConn — and Bocktown regular Tim winning on the tiebreaker.

2012: And hooboy, would that tiebreaker thing become important. Three people — Barb, Otimemore and Casey — not only correctly picked Kentucky as the eventual NCAA champion, but Barb and Casey both picked the same total — 151 points — as their tiebreaker. Fortunately for both, Chris Dilla stepped up and gave both a Bocktown gift card, making both Barb and Casey happy and setting a potentially dangerous precedent for the future.

2013: We’re in our eighth year, Bocktown is on board again — and although it’s already Monday, I have exactly zero entries for EAUCNFFC. If you’re not sure how it works, you’ll find everything you need to know right here.

Get your entries in soon, boys and girls — the fun is about to begin.

*Prizes weren’t actually fabulous at that point. That started in 2010, when Chris Dilla began Bocktown’s sponsorship.

EAUCNFFC (BTYBB) time.

Aaron Craft can't wait to torture Iona.
Aaron Craft can’t wait to torture Iona.

Sure, my blogging has almost completely gone to hell, but that will never be an excuse for not holding the Eighth Annual Uncle Crappy NCAA Final Four Challenge (Brought to you by Bocktown).

Eight year should be enough time that most of you guys to know the AUCNFFC drill. But we seem to attract new people every year, so it’s worth taking a spin through the setup, in handy bullet-list form:

  • Find yourself a copy of the bracket. If you can’t manage that, I should probably disqualify you from the EAUCNFFC (BTYBB) right now. But I’m feeling generous, so I’m happy to say you can find a nice PDF version, provided by the crack legal team at the NCAA. Print it and fill it out.
  • After consulting your bracket, pick the four teams — one from each region — that you think will win the regional championships and travel to the Final Four in Atlanta.
  • After consulting your bracket again, pick the two teams you think will win the national semi-final games on April 6.
  • Consult your bracket once more, and pick the team from your semi-finalists who will win the title game April 8.
  • How do I figure out who wins? You get two points for picking a correct Final Four team, four points for a correct semi-finalist and six points for a correct national championship pick. Assuming I can add correctly (and that can be quite an assumption, boys and girls), the entry with the highest point total is our winner.
  • Yes, there is a tie-breaker and, yes, as we saw last year tiebreakers are important. When you submit your pick, please also include your project score for the championship game. If it’s necessary, the entry whose score is closest will be our winner.

Still confused? Given that I’m writing this in a hurry I’m mostly copying and pasting from past AUCNFFC intros, that’s entirely possible. Here’s a purely hypothetical example of what an entry from this year’s bracket could look like (Note 1: this is NOT my entry. Note 2: These are the lowest seeds in the tournament; if you want to make this your entry, feel free, but do so knowing the risk of being Blutarskied):

Final Four: North Carolina A&T vs. Southern/James Madison vs. Western Kentucky

Championship game: Southern vs. James Madison

Champion: James Madison

Tiebreaker: 130

Simple, right? As you begin to mull your picks, here are a couple of other things to keep in mind:

  • One thing to make sure you don’t do: Send me money to enter. As has always been the case, AUCNFFC is free.
  • In the first four years of the contest, we were competing for cheesy trinkets and I usually included a disclaimer that our FABULOUS PRIZES weren’t actually fabulous. And then Chris at Bocktown Beer and Grill blew that out of the water by putting up a gift card to the contest’s winner — as she’s doing again this year. All together, boys and girls: “Thank you, Chris!”
  • The tournament’s first-round games get underway around 12:15 Eastern Thursday; I’m not a huge stickler, but I’ll need to have your entries by noon that day for you to be eligible (see the Melo Rule below).
  • How do you enter? Comment. Email. Twitter. DM. Text. Facebook. Smoke signal. Please feel free adding whatever commentary you wish regarding how you arrived at your picks; each entry will be listed in a comprehensive post that’ll show up at some point early Thursday afternoon.

And finally, a couple of fine-printy things:

The Juan Rule: As is tradition, Juan will once again be entered against his will, using either the Phil’s Mom Method or, if Phil’s mom isn’t picking this year, the Penny-Flipping Method.

The Melo Rule: Should an unforeseen thing happen with a player, a coach or a booster that might, in your opinion, have an impact on your already-completed entry, fear not. You may tinker as much as you like until I close the entries at noon on the tournament’s opening day.

The Crappy Rule: I don’t think I’ve ever specified this, so let’s take care of it now. If I were to come out on top of my own contest (and believe me, boys and girls, there is very little chance of that happening), the Bocktown gift card would be awarded to the first runner up (although I retain full bragging rights, which I would exercise almost daily until next year’s contest). Mrs. Crappy, should she remember to get her entry in on time, is eligible to win the card (as long as she uses it to take me to dinner).

To summarize:

  • Free.
  • Easy.
  • Deadline is noon Thursday.
  • Bocktown gift card for the winner.

Have any questions? Let me know. Otherwise, good luck to everyone — especially me Mrs. Crappy.

three days. four pizzas.

Who takes three days to make one serving of grilled pizzas?

Me. And pretty much only me.

My quest for the grilled pizza began sometime late Saturday morning, when we began our endless discussion: what’s for dinner? We knew we wanted to grill something, as we wanted to take advantage of last weekend’s glorious weather. Mrs. Crappy would have been happy with cheeseburgers, but I was bent on something fancier.

I don’t recall which one of us came up with grilled pizzas, but I know it took a while to get to the final decision, as Mrs. Crappy shot down all manner of grilled seafood, as well as flank-steak fajita recipe that I was dying to try. But once we got there, it all seemed pretty easy. I remember with great fondness the grilled pizzas I had that one time at Michelle’s house, and after I looked up the recipe (it’s here), we headed off to the grocery store while happily chattering about the toppings we were going to use.

I grabbed the Kitchen Aid mixer (first time using the dough hook!) when we got home and put together the ball of sticky dough we would use in an hour or so. For whatever reason, bread has always been massively intimidating to me, but Michelle’s instructions were perfect and I plopped the ball in an oiled bowl and waited for it to rise.

And waited.

And waited.

And waited.

After nearly 2 hours, it had started to puff up a little bit, but by then it was 9 p.m.; Mrs. Crappy was cranky, I was hungry and we settled for beer and Spaghettios. In addition to that rather unsatisfying* option, we faced a dilemma: would the dough hold up in the fridge for a couple days? I work on Sunday nights, so we would be waiting until Monday to try the pizzas, and I wasn’t sure the dough would hold up that long.

The internet assured me it would — we might even get the added bonus of a sourdough-esque twang in our pizza crusts after all that time — so I wrapped up my precious ball and stuck it in the fridge, ready for me to grill as soon as I got home on Monday night.

Except that on Monday night, I was looking at what seemed to be a rapidly approaching wall of rain**, as well as a wife whose interest in grilled pizza had waned considerably since the weekend. Fine, goddammit — I’ll make my pizzas on the grill pan.

dough

Which, for the most part, worked OK. As per the recipe, I browned one side of the rolled-out crusts, took ’em off the heat, topped them and threw them back on to finish.

One the left: artichoke heart and crab white pizza. On the right: pepperoni and onion.
One the left: artichoke heart and crab white pizza. On the right: pepperoni and onion.

I was really pleased with my topping choices, and generally pleased with the overall result.  I did, as usual, learn some things for next time:

  • The grill pan technically worked, but it’s not the best way to do these. Covering the grill pan steams the dough too much, and controlling the cooking speed is difficult; I had to finish mine in the microwave to have melted cheese AND a crust that wasn’t burned.
  • I thought I rolled the dough thin enough. I was wrong. I like a very thin, very crisp crust, and my dough patties needed to be MUCH thinner.
  • I liked the slightly sour taste that an extra two days of fermentation gave my crusts, but if I want to cut my grilled pizza production time to, you know, a single day, I need to either A) leave myself extra time for the dough to rise or B) buy fast-rising yeast. Caveat: I pretty much don’t have any idea what I’m doing when it comes to cooking with yeast (see: Great Failed Homebrewing Attempt of 2011), and if someone who does has tips to offer, I’m all ears.
  • Roasted garlic. I mean, why not?

dun

OK, I don’t want you guys to get the wrong idea. I destroyed the kitchen while cooking Monday night — always a sign that I’m enjoying myself — and in spite of all the griping, the pizzas were delicious. And I’m pleased to know that next time I make them, they’ll be even better.

*I normally LOVE Spaghettios — but not when I’ve been thinking about homemade pizza for the entire day.

**That rain? It didn’t show up until about an hour after I cooked, ate and cleaned up the kitchen.

multiple choice.

WOOOO, nachos!
WOOOO, nachos!

Q: Why is Thad Matta fired up?

A. It was 70 degrees outside today.

B. There’s a new post on Uncle Crappy.

C. Next season, the nachos at The Schott are going to be much better.

D. The college hoops postseason is getting underway. And that means we’re a few days away from the start of Eighth Annual Uncle Crappy NCAA Final Four Challenge (Brought To You By Bocktown).

E. All of the above.

If you picked D, give yourself a high five. And even if you didn’t, stay tuned, boys and girls — EAUCNFFC (BTYBB) info will be on the way soon.